Goodbye my lover

So. I'm pretty sure that I will never talk to my ex-boyfriend (who I'll call CN, on account of him being my Christian Neighbor) again. He seems to be completely infatuated with his new uglyass girlfriend. Yes, I'm bitter. He's ignored my obvious attempts to reunite. Last night was sort of our last chance at re-falling in love and we didn't. He barely even talked to me.

Didn't help that I avoid eye contact and that I get really flustered around him. Damn.

Anyways, we dating a couple of years ago. It was never serious and I broke up with him after a couple of months. I've re-fallen for him plenty of times in between then and now but we never got back together. Last year he wanted me pretty badly, but unfortunately for both of us, he wanted me at a time when I reallllly wanted somebody else. Dammit! And now our chance at love is gone. Unless he randomly decides to stop by the house (which I've told him he should do SO many fucking times), we will never speak again. *sigh*

I had such high hopes for last night's party. I really wanted us to have a nice heart-to-heart and then fuck, you know?