Saturday, June 6, 2009

Throw it up! And pick it up at the next window

I so love my job (#1).

Something you should know about me: I work two jobs. Job #1 is fabulous and easy and fun. Job #2 is not-so-fabulous and shitty and I actually hate the bitch. To help you remember which is which, I made up this handy poem:

1 is fun.
2 is poo.


I worked at job #1 today. Awesomeness galore. There's a lotta things to love about job #1:

I can eat a shitload of free food when I'm working alone. Healthy, I know.

We have 'regular customers' whom I love. I feel like we're old pals. Just because I know what they're going to order. Yeah. Especially the little boy who comes every week and orders the exact same thing and specifies, every time, what color he wants it. Especially because he came today and proudly told me that "today was his last day of kindegarten!" Awwwww!!! He's a cutie. Pedofileish? I think not.

My co-workers are more than my co-workers. They're my girls and I love them! Besides the new girl, we've all worked there for years and we've bonded-over-work, you know?

I'm awesome at working here. And, no, I am not full of myself. I just happen to be the shit at my job. I've been working there for four years, so you'd better believe I know whatthefuck I'm doing! And that makes me feel cool.

I love the tips. I'm good at making them. I'll blog about that another time.

I love how easy this job is. When business is slow, I sit back and read. Today I finished an entire book and got paid for it, bitches! Plus, if I'm working by myself I can plug my ipod into the radio and dance all crazy-like. I know you know what I mean. You do it too when nobody's looking.

So I was doing that today. And I was blasting that shit.

And, BAM!, it got busy. So I dance up to the order-window real quick and start taking orders. And the music is still really loud. Like, the customers could definitely hear it. And this song comes on:

And I'm like, shiiiiit!! Because I didn't know what to do. The line was pretty fricking long and so I decided to ignore the music and hurry through the orders so that they'd all leave me to my peace and dancing.

Tay: Hi!
Lil Jon: YEEEeeeeeeeeeah!!
Tay: What can I get for you today?
Customer: I'll have a -
Tay: I'm sorry, what was that?
Customer: *disgusted* I. Said. I'll. Have. A. Small-
Tay: I'm sorry, what was- Nevermind. One second.

And I turned it off. After a few orders and a few offended customers.

The bosses' husband showed up minutes after I turned it off. Hollaa!

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