I do believe I've lost him

Yesterday I went shopping with DB.

My very-favorite-store-of-all-time Victoria's Secret was having a semi-annual sale. Of course I had to go.

After spending too much money (while DB waited outside for an hour..I'm sorry baby!!), we hit up the CD store. I was having a good ol time, looking through the Cds, listening to music, and dancing in the aisles.

Yes, I really do this. I find it therapeutic. I got the idea from a commercial I once saw (which I can't find now..any help?). It helps me understand that I shouldn't care about how other people view me. Plus, it's way fun. I love to dance.

Anyways. I'd been listening/dancing alone for a while and I realized that my faithful DB was no longer by my side. Where the hell had my dear wandered off to? Not the metal section. Not the pop/rock section. I happened to glance at the christian section.

And. Oh. My. God. There. Is. CN. (With his ugly girlfriend).

My heart stopped. My mouth literally fell open. That's never happened to me before. DB was talking to CN. A million-trillion thoughts ran through my mind.

Please don't let him mention the drunk texting (DB doesn't know).
I wonder if he knows that I was the one texting him?
Should I go talk to him?
She is so ugly.
God, I love him.
He would hate me for using God's name in vain.

I waited for the boys to stop talking before heading over.

Tay: Hey hon.
DB: Hey! Did you see CN?
Tay: Oh. Yeah.
DB: Go talk to him!
*CN walks past us*

For a split second I wondered whether or not to address him. Would DB find it strange if I didn't? Would CN think I was rude? Was he going to mention the text messages? Did he even want to talk about it?

Tay: Hi CN.
CN: Hey.

I wanted to talk with him. I wanted to explain. I wanted to ask him for forgiveness. I wanted to kiss him. I think I still love him.

But that was it. He didn't look at me. He didn't try to make conversation. He just walked on by and left me standing alone. Well, with DB, but you get the picture.

Fuck it. I give up. (Not. Like I could.)

On the bright side, I just spent over a hundred dollars on lingerie and the new Black Eyed Peas Cd. I like that boom boom pow.