Remember once upon a time when I decided to make summer goals for myself? Yeah... Let's revisit those goals and see how I've done. After all, I go back to the university in 2 days. Summer's just about over for me. *sigh*
1) Stop obsessing over have-beens (CN)
-Success! Not only did I stop obsessing over CN, but we reconnected and finally talked about our past. I've even stopped stalking him! Kinda. Old habits die hard, you know?
2) Bike the entire bike trail (48 miles)
-Fail. DB and I biked half and then turned around. 24 miles is better than nothing, right? I still want to complete this goal.
3) Reconnect with some old friends
-Success! Two words. The Cheffess. We're closer than we ever were in the past. I've had the greatest and craziest summer of my life and I completely owe it to her. We're two of a kind and I absolutely LOVE HER!
4) Go on a photo-taking excursion
-Fail. Does the UP trip count? I don't think so.
5) Play the guitar and piano more often
-Fail. The biggest fail, actually. I haven't played the guitar in a month and my keyboard is collecting dust in the corner of my room. This makes me so sad, music used to be my life. I'm a musician at heart and need to reconnect with the greatest love of my life.
6) Develop a regular exercise schedule
-Fail. Good one, Taylor. I haven't exercised since February. You think I'm joking.
7) Have sex in the woods
-Fail. Trust me, we tried. Here and here. And then we tried again (but I didn't blog about it). It's hard to find a comfortable spot in the forest to fuck. Mosquitoes? Hikers? Yeah.
8) Go skinny-dipping
-Fail. I completely forgot about this
9) Have a picnic on the beach
-Fail. And there's a sad story behind this one. In July, The Dealer invited me to a party. DB and I had plans but I ditched him to go drink/smoke the night away. I found out a week later that DB had planned a picnic-on-the-beach-while-watching-the-sunset for me. He had the food and blankets and everything in the trunk of his car already. Plus? He was bringing his acoustic guitar so he could play a song he had written for me. And I fucking ditched on him. I hate myself. I cried in a public restaurant when I found out.
So there you have it. I should never make summer goals again.
Thanks to everybody that commented yesterday, it meant so much to me. Your advice helped more than you could imagine and I'll be sure to keep you updated. I love you guys!!
Showing posts with label CN. Show all posts
Showing posts with label CN. Show all posts
Friday, August 28, 2009
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
I'll Always Love Him
After I posted yesterday, CN and I texted for 5 and a half hours. And the time flew by. It felt like we were talking for maybe an hour. We never ran out of things to say.
This was the first real conversation I've had with him in years. Words can't even describe how thankful I am that we finally reconnected.
He broke up with his girlfriend recently. We talked about that. I've been having doubts about DB. We talked about that. We compared relationships. We realized how alike we are. We also discussed our differences. He lectured me about my bad habits (drinking... smoking...). We talked about work. We talked about love. We talked about jealousy. We talked about the past. We talked about us.
We finally, finally, finally talked about us.
He asked me whether or not I liked him back then; back when he used to come over everyday. I answered truthfully, yes. He confessed that he had loved me too, but was too nervous and self-conscious to ask me out.
Tay: You should have. I really liked you.
CN: It's weird how the more you like someone the harder it is to just make a move. The same thing happened to me in middle school.
So I asked him about middle school.
Tay: I have another question for you. Remember how we dated in middle school? Did you even like me back then? Because I never thought you did.
CN: That's funny because I felt like you were my one and only true love and that's probably why you thought that. Because I was so incredibly nervous around you.
CN: I almost asked you about middle school earlier but I didn't because I thought you'd think I was weird.
Tay: I almost didn't ask you because I wasn't sure if you'd remember that we dated.
CN: Lol. You were my biggest crush in middle school.
I can't believe it. After all these years of wondering. After all these years of loving him.
This was the first real conversation I've had with him in years. Words can't even describe how thankful I am that we finally reconnected.
He broke up with his girlfriend recently. We talked about that. I've been having doubts about DB. We talked about that. We compared relationships. We realized how alike we are. We also discussed our differences. He lectured me about my bad habits (drinking... smoking...). We talked about work. We talked about love. We talked about jealousy. We talked about the past. We talked about us.
We finally, finally, finally talked about us.
He asked me whether or not I liked him back then; back when he used to come over everyday. I answered truthfully, yes. He confessed that he had loved me too, but was too nervous and self-conscious to ask me out.
Tay: You should have. I really liked you.
CN: It's weird how the more you like someone the harder it is to just make a move. The same thing happened to me in middle school.
So I asked him about middle school.
Tay: I have another question for you. Remember how we dated in middle school? Did you even like me back then? Because I never thought you did.
CN: That's funny because I felt like you were my one and only true love and that's probably why you thought that. Because I was so incredibly nervous around you.
CN: I almost asked you about middle school earlier but I didn't because I thought you'd think I was weird.
Tay: I almost didn't ask you because I wasn't sure if you'd remember that we dated.
CN: Lol. You were my biggest crush in middle school.
I can't believe it. After all these years of wondering. After all these years of loving him.
I'll always love him. As a friend. Maybe someday we can be more, but not today. Maybe someday when I've stopped drinking every night, when I've gotten tired of being high, when I've finally found God, then we can be together. But until then...
I am content. Finally.
CN: We'll probably run into each other in 10 years and get married like some lame romantic movie or a country song.
Tay: Haha. We'll have to wait and see.
Monday, August 24, 2009
The Most Awesome Weekend in the History of Weekends. Seriously.
I've had the most fantastic weekend!! Seriously.
Friday?
I got together with MY GIRL The Cheffess to smoke. Lipring, Redhead, The Drunk, and another nameless character were there. I found out that Lipring cheated on his super-nice girlfriend. I don't like him nearly as much as I did...
But the night was fantastic to say the least.
Saturday?
Was even more fucking fantastic! The Cheffess and I went to a party. Highlights?
Friday?
I got together with MY GIRL The Cheffess to smoke. Lipring, Redhead, The Drunk, and another nameless character were there. I found out that Lipring cheated on his super-nice girlfriend. I don't like him nearly as much as I did...
But the night was fantastic to say the least.
Saturday?
Was even more fucking fantastic! The Cheffess and I went to a party. Highlights?
- Aaron telling me to call him anytime I'm single
- Aaron (drunk) announcing to everybody that I'm "absolutely gorgeous and SO cute"
- The Dealer's girlfriend inviting me to smoke alone with her and the Dealer. Seriously, what a fucking sweetheart!
- Even though the Cheffess left at midnight, I stayed out 'til 3.
- Guitarguy playing a song for me
- Guitarguy teaching me a song on the guitar
- Hugs goodbye from Aaron and Guitarguy
- Guitarguy in general
- Seriously. Guitar-fucking-guy
- Beer pong with Aaron (yeah... we lost)
- Smoking with my sister's preppy ex-boyfriend and then telling her about it
Sunday?
CN texted me. He broke up with his girlfriend and wanted to know if I was single. No, I'm not, but we still texted all day. I still waited anxiously for every reply. I still opted out of going out with DB to stay at home and text him. I still confessed my unhappiness with my current relationship. And then he visited me at work...
I still believe I may or may not love him.
Song of the Day: The Flood by Escape The Fate
What did you do this weekend?
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Boyfriends
My first boyfriend's name was Curtis. Real name, by the way. I called myself his girlfriend for four years. Longest relationship I'd had so far. We met when he was five and I was six. The boys in my kindergarten class used to chase me around during recess, threatening to turn me into 'dead meat' if they caught me. Curtis would always save me.
My second boyfriend was CN. We didn't know each other very well when we first met. He was a middle school 'player', with a different girlfriend every week. I still don't know why that appealed to me. I was thirteen and he was twelve when we met. He was immature and liked to swear and talk about sex. I was simply shy. We lasted a short two months.
My third boyfriend was DB. I was attracted to his humorous personality and popularity. Everybody loved DB. He was seventeen and I was sixteen when we met. We discovered how alike we were after we started dating. We shared a love for music, a love for writing, a love for the outdoors, a love for conservation and the environment, a love for each other.
We broke up once, I thought CN was still in love with me again. Turns out he wasn't, or maybe he was, I'll never know. I got back together with DB too fast to find out.
We never fought until I started drinking and smoking with the Cheffess. I'm having so much fun with my new friends and hobbies and he refuses to take part in them with me. Is it wrong of me to want him to? I don't know how much longer we'll last.
Tell me about your boyfriends.
My second boyfriend was CN. We didn't know each other very well when we first met. He was a middle school 'player', with a different girlfriend every week. I still don't know why that appealed to me. I was thirteen and he was twelve when we met. He was immature and liked to swear and talk about sex. I was simply shy. We lasted a short two months.
My third boyfriend was DB. I was attracted to his humorous personality and popularity. Everybody loved DB. He was seventeen and I was sixteen when we met. We discovered how alike we were after we started dating. We shared a love for music, a love for writing, a love for the outdoors, a love for conservation and the environment, a love for each other.
We broke up once, I thought CN was still in love with me again. Turns out he wasn't, or maybe he was, I'll never know. I got back together with DB too fast to find out.
We never fought until I started drinking and smoking with the Cheffess. I'm having so much fun with my new friends and hobbies and he refuses to take part in them with me. Is it wrong of me to want him to? I don't know how much longer we'll last.
Tell me about your boyfriends.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Remember when...?
We met in seventh grade.
One day in middle school she convinced me to skip class with her. We were lame and scared of being caught, and spent an hour in the bathroom reading graffiti. Later in high school, we would skip class weekly to catch up and eat fast food.
We double-dated to nearly every high school dance. She would style my hair, we'd arrive together, and she usually hosted a sleepover at her house afterwards.
I wasn't shy around her; she knew the 'real Taylor'.
She got me my first boyfriend. She was always a loudmouth, and as soon as she knew I fancied CN, he knew.
We've had our minor fights. She calls me a tree-hugging hippie (it's true) and I call her an egotistic bitch (also true). She boasts about her bigger boobs and I flaunt my thinner figure.
When the Cheffess turned to drugs and alcohol for company and left us, we bonded even more. We spent entire weekends together, talking and laughing all night.
She knows my quirks to the point that she does them before I do.
She's the only one who knows that I'm often unhappy with my relationship with DB.
We've made so many memories together it's hard to recall them all. I'm sure that after I post this, another hilarious or touching or simply blog-worthy memory will pop into my head and I'll be kicking myself.
The last day we spent together was Saturday. Crazygirl and her and I went to the beach, took pictures, sang off-key in the car, and spent one last night with each other, talking about the past.
Sunday afternoon was the last time I saw her. I tearfully hugged my best friend goodbye and wished her the best of luck with her new life in the Marines.
The only constant in life is change. Sometimes it's hard to accept, especially when this means losing somebody you love.
Sometimes you have to say goodbye, dry your tears, and bravely face the new future.
I miss you, Marinegirl.
One day in middle school she convinced me to skip class with her. We were lame and scared of being caught, and spent an hour in the bathroom reading graffiti. Later in high school, we would skip class weekly to catch up and eat fast food.
We double-dated to nearly every high school dance. She would style my hair, we'd arrive together, and she usually hosted a sleepover at her house afterwards.
I wasn't shy around her; she knew the 'real Taylor'.
She got me my first boyfriend. She was always a loudmouth, and as soon as she knew I fancied CN, he knew.
We've had our minor fights. She calls me a tree-hugging hippie (it's true) and I call her an egotistic bitch (also true). She boasts about her bigger boobs and I flaunt my thinner figure.
When the Cheffess turned to drugs and alcohol for company and left us, we bonded even more. We spent entire weekends together, talking and laughing all night.
She knows my quirks to the point that she does them before I do.
She's the only one who knows that I'm often unhappy with my relationship with DB.
We've made so many memories together it's hard to recall them all. I'm sure that after I post this, another hilarious or touching or simply blog-worthy memory will pop into my head and I'll be kicking myself.
The last day we spent together was Saturday. Crazygirl and her and I went to the beach, took pictures, sang off-key in the car, and spent one last night with each other, talking about the past.
Sunday afternoon was the last time I saw her. I tearfully hugged my best friend goodbye and wished her the best of luck with her new life in the Marines.
The only constant in life is change. Sometimes it's hard to accept, especially when this means losing somebody you love.
Sometimes you have to say goodbye, dry your tears, and bravely face the new future.
I miss you, Marinegirl.
Monday, June 22, 2009
Hold me accountable, please
CN's girlfriend posted a note on facebook listing off her summer goals. I've decided to copy her.
1) Stop obsessing over have-beens (read: CN)
2) Bike the entire bike trail (48 miles!)
3) Reconnect with some old friends
4) Go on a photo-taking excursion
5) Play the guitar and piano more often
6) Develop a regular exercise schedule
7) Have sex in the woods
8) Go skinny-dipping
9) Have a picnic on the beach
CN's girlfriend's list included a lot of things I've always wanted to do. It was quite disturbing for me to realize this. I guess her and I are alike in many ways. Besides the fact that she's a prude and I'm not. Haha, CN.
I win.
By the way...
--Marinegirl left yesterday. The Cheffess and Crazygirl and I watched her leave and then spent all day together, crying. I'll officially blog about it later.
--I bought a pregnancy test, on account of being a week and a half late, and it came out negative. Thank god.
--I think CN's on vacation. His car has been missing from the driveway for days. Yes, I stalk.
--That being said, I didn't think about him very much this weekend.
1) Stop obsessing over have-beens (read: CN)
2) Bike the entire bike trail (48 miles!)
3) Reconnect with some old friends
4) Go on a photo-taking excursion
5) Play the guitar and piano more often
6) Develop a regular exercise schedule
7) Have sex in the woods
8) Go skinny-dipping
9) Have a picnic on the beach
CN's girlfriend's list included a lot of things I've always wanted to do. It was quite disturbing for me to realize this. I guess her and I are alike in many ways. Besides the fact that she's a prude and I'm not. Haha, CN.
I win.
By the way...
--Marinegirl left yesterday. The Cheffess and Crazygirl and I watched her leave and then spent all day together, crying. I'll officially blog about it later.
--I bought a pregnancy test, on account of being a week and a half late, and it came out negative. Thank god.
--I think CN's on vacation. His car has been missing from the driveway for days. Yes, I stalk.
--That being said, I didn't think about him very much this weekend.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Who is this christian guy anyways?
I realize that I've been blogging about CN a lot lately. Can't help it. He's on my mind a lot.
I also realize that I haven't given you guys a lot of background on CN, besides the fact that he's my ex-boyfriend and that I still (think I) love him.
This post therefore is dedicated to CN and the times we've shared. CN, by the way, stands for christian neighbor. He's literally the guy next door and also happens to be a very dedicated christian.
Anyways. Starting from the beginning...
Four years ago, CN became my first boyfriend. Exciting, yes? Not so much. Saying that we were an awkward couple is a serious understatement. I was even shyer than I am now and got tongue-tied every time he came near me. That being said, I never opened up to him. We never kissed. We never went to each others houses. We never even went out on an official date! We lasted three short months and I was the one who broke up with him. He had started flirting with other girls. It bugged me.
Fast forward to last year. CN and I had remained friends throughout the years, although we never started another relationship. I had developed plenty of crushes on him during this time, but I was too shy to make the first move. Typical Taylor.
Around this time I moved into a new house. A house that happened to be next door to CN's humble abode. Win. We began talking again. He started coming over after class. We talked, we flirted, we acted silly and happy and youthful together. He was so much different from the guy I had dated three years earlier. He was now dedicated to his faith and much more mature.
I, on the other hand, was not nearly as mature. I had recently discovered alcohol and marijuana and spent most of my time partying it up with my two new friends. CN knew about this and disapproved but still came over to see me. He often lectured me about my habits and my new friends. I scoffed at him.
He was in love with me.
He asked me on dates but I always refused.
He kept coming over even though I accidentally cried in front of him one time.
He asked my sister if I liked him.
Then DB entered the picture. I fell for him hard and we started a relationship.
CN stopped coming over, stopped talking to me, and became distant. At the time, I didn't care.
He met a girl, a christian girl, just as silly and dedicated to God as he was. They started dating.
A year later, I'm unhappy with my relationship with DB and lusting over CN once again. Unfortunately for my lovestruck heart, he's happy with his christian girlfriend and apparently is going to start ignoring me.
The worst part is that this is my fault. Completely. I let him go, I broke his heart, I chose DB over him. I feel like it was a mistake now.
He was so so in love with me. Could it really have faded?
By the way...
--No visit from Aunt Flo yet. I'm freaking the fuck out.
--I biked 24 miles (!) yesterday and am now awfully and painfully sunburned
--Thank you to everybody who's visited my blog lately! It means a ton to me!
I also realize that I haven't given you guys a lot of background on CN, besides the fact that he's my ex-boyfriend and that I still (think I) love him.
This post therefore is dedicated to CN and the times we've shared. CN, by the way, stands for christian neighbor. He's literally the guy next door and also happens to be a very dedicated christian.
Anyways. Starting from the beginning...
Four years ago, CN became my first boyfriend. Exciting, yes? Not so much. Saying that we were an awkward couple is a serious understatement. I was even shyer than I am now and got tongue-tied every time he came near me. That being said, I never opened up to him. We never kissed. We never went to each others houses. We never even went out on an official date! We lasted three short months and I was the one who broke up with him. He had started flirting with other girls. It bugged me.
Fast forward to last year. CN and I had remained friends throughout the years, although we never started another relationship. I had developed plenty of crushes on him during this time, but I was too shy to make the first move. Typical Taylor.
Around this time I moved into a new house. A house that happened to be next door to CN's humble abode. Win. We began talking again. He started coming over after class. We talked, we flirted, we acted silly and happy and youthful together. He was so much different from the guy I had dated three years earlier. He was now dedicated to his faith and much more mature.
I, on the other hand, was not nearly as mature. I had recently discovered alcohol and marijuana and spent most of my time partying it up with my two new friends. CN knew about this and disapproved but still came over to see me. He often lectured me about my habits and my new friends. I scoffed at him.
He was in love with me.
He asked me on dates but I always refused.
He kept coming over even though I accidentally cried in front of him one time.
He asked my sister if I liked him.
Then DB entered the picture. I fell for him hard and we started a relationship.
CN stopped coming over, stopped talking to me, and became distant. At the time, I didn't care.
He met a girl, a christian girl, just as silly and dedicated to God as he was. They started dating.
A year later, I'm unhappy with my relationship with DB and lusting over CN once again. Unfortunately for my lovestruck heart, he's happy with his christian girlfriend and apparently is going to start ignoring me.
The worst part is that this is my fault. Completely. I let him go, I broke his heart, I chose DB over him. I feel like it was a mistake now.
He was so so in love with me. Could it really have faded?
By the way...
--No visit from Aunt Flo yet. I'm freaking the fuck out.
--I biked 24 miles (!) yesterday and am now awfully and painfully sunburned
--Thank you to everybody who's visited my blog lately! It means a ton to me!
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
I do believe I've lost him
Yesterday I went shopping with DB.
My very-favorite-store-of-all-time Victoria's Secret was having a semi-annual sale. Of course I had to go.
After spending too much money (while DB waited outside for an hour..I'm sorry baby!!), we hit up the CD store. I was having a good ol time, looking through the Cds, listening to music, and dancing in the aisles.
Yes, I really do this. I find it therapeutic. I got the idea from a commercial I once saw (which I can't find now..any help?). It helps me understand that I shouldn't care about how other people view me. Plus, it's way fun. I love to dance.
Anyways. I'd been listening/dancing alone for a while and I realized that my faithful DB was no longer by my side. Where the hell had my dear wandered off to? Not the metal section. Not the pop/rock section. I happened to glance at the christian section.
And. Oh. My. God. There. Is. CN. (With his ugly girlfriend).
My heart stopped. My mouth literally fell open. That's never happened to me before. DB was talking to CN. A million-trillion thoughts ran through my mind.
Please don't let him mention the drunk texting (DB doesn't know).
I wonder if he knows that I was the one texting him?
Should I go talk to him?
She is so ugly.
God, I love him.
He would hate me for using God's name in vain.
I waited for the boys to stop talking before heading over.
Tay: Hey hon.
DB: Hey! Did you see CN?
Tay: Oh. Yeah.
DB: Go talk to him!
*CN walks past us*
For a split second I wondered whether or not to address him. Would DB find it strange if I didn't? Would CN think I was rude? Was he going to mention the text messages? Did he even want to talk about it?
Tay: Hi CN.
CN: Hey.
I wanted to talk with him. I wanted to explain. I wanted to ask him for forgiveness. I wanted to kiss him. I think I still love him.
But that was it. He didn't look at me. He didn't try to make conversation. He just walked on by and left me standing alone. Well, with DB, but you get the picture.
Fuck it. I give up. (Not. Like I could.)
On the bright side, I just spent over a hundred dollars on lingerie and the new Black Eyed Peas Cd. I like that boom boom pow.
My very-favorite-store-of-all-time Victoria's Secret was having a semi-annual sale. Of course I had to go.
After spending too much money (while DB waited outside for an hour..I'm sorry baby!!), we hit up the CD store. I was having a good ol time, looking through the Cds, listening to music, and dancing in the aisles.
Yes, I really do this. I find it therapeutic. I got the idea from a commercial I once saw (which I can't find now..any help?). It helps me understand that I shouldn't care about how other people view me. Plus, it's way fun. I love to dance.
Anyways. I'd been listening/dancing alone for a while and I realized that my faithful DB was no longer by my side. Where the hell had my dear wandered off to? Not the metal section. Not the pop/rock section. I happened to glance at the christian section.
And. Oh. My. God. There. Is. CN. (With his ugly girlfriend).
My heart stopped. My mouth literally fell open. That's never happened to me before. DB was talking to CN. A million-trillion thoughts ran through my mind.
Please don't let him mention the drunk texting (DB doesn't know).
I wonder if he knows that I was the one texting him?
Should I go talk to him?
She is so ugly.
God, I love him.
He would hate me for using God's name in vain.
I waited for the boys to stop talking before heading over.
Tay: Hey hon.
DB: Hey! Did you see CN?
Tay: Oh. Yeah.
DB: Go talk to him!
*CN walks past us*
For a split second I wondered whether or not to address him. Would DB find it strange if I didn't? Would CN think I was rude? Was he going to mention the text messages? Did he even want to talk about it?
Tay: Hi CN.
CN: Hey.
I wanted to talk with him. I wanted to explain. I wanted to ask him for forgiveness. I wanted to kiss him. I think I still love him.
But that was it. He didn't look at me. He didn't try to make conversation. He just walked on by and left me standing alone. Well, with DB, but you get the picture.
Fuck it. I give up. (Not. Like I could.)
On the bright side, I just spent over a hundred dollars on lingerie and the new Black Eyed Peas Cd. I like that boom boom pow.
Monday, June 15, 2009
Please excuse my drunken blogging
My weekend in a blog post!
Friday was fantastic and horrible. My dear sister and I had a fabulous martini party at my step dad's house. Strange, I know, but he's cool. Kind of cool anyways. Halfway through the night and after we finished off the first bottle of vodka, he began yelling shit about my mom and so we left. Spend the night at Filmguy's house.
The next day I found out I did something very very bad. I texted CN. First I texted him his name and a rhyming word, you know? Like Anna Banana except for it was more CN-BNish. I don't know. He called and I ignored him. He's way christian and perfect and I didn't want him to know I was tipsy. The next day I realized I texted him twice more...
Tay: im so so sry i texted to i didnt mean to im stupid
*no reply*
Tay [one hour later]: im really really sry i texted u i didnt mean to i love you CN.
I love you CN? Really? I LOVE YOU CN?!?!? I can't believe I fucking proclaimed my love for CN over a text. message. He called the next day while I was at work but I ignored it once again. I am so embarrassed. I wonder if he knows that drunken words (or in my case, texts) are sober thoughts.
Saturday... I had to work Job #2 with a crazyass hangover. Luckily I worked with my favorite hot coworkers, including the Gamer, Smileyguy, That hot guy I work with, and my hot manager.
Later on that night I hung out with my girls, Crazygirl and Marinegirl. One week until my dear bff leaves me.
Sunday I worked both jobs and then had sex all night with DB. Fabulous sex. Be jealous. Be very very jealous, women.
A real post will be coming soon. Tomorrow maybe. I'm busy, alrighty?
Friday was fantastic and horrible. My dear sister and I had a fabulous martini party at my step dad's house. Strange, I know, but he's cool. Kind of cool anyways. Halfway through the night and after we finished off the first bottle of vodka, he began yelling shit about my mom and so we left. Spend the night at Filmguy's house.
The next day I found out I did something very very bad. I texted CN. First I texted him his name and a rhyming word, you know? Like Anna Banana except for it was more CN-BNish. I don't know. He called and I ignored him. He's way christian and perfect and I didn't want him to know I was tipsy. The next day I realized I texted him twice more...
Tay: im so so sry i texted to i didnt mean to im stupid
*no reply*
Tay [one hour later]: im really really sry i texted u i didnt mean to i love you CN.
I love you CN? Really? I LOVE YOU CN?!?!? I can't believe I fucking proclaimed my love for CN over a text. message. He called the next day while I was at work but I ignored it once again. I am so embarrassed. I wonder if he knows that drunken words (or in my case, texts) are sober thoughts.
Saturday... I had to work Job #2 with a crazyass hangover. Luckily I worked with my favorite hot coworkers, including the Gamer, Smileyguy, That hot guy I work with, and my hot manager.
Later on that night I hung out with my girls, Crazygirl and Marinegirl. One week until my dear bff leaves me.
Sunday I worked both jobs and then had sex all night with DB. Fabulous sex. Be jealous. Be very very jealous, women.
A real post will be coming soon. Tomorrow maybe. I'm busy, alrighty?
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
As you can probably tell, I'm still pretty mad
New decision: I hate people.
Why, you ask?
Today DB got his wallet stolen by an ugly stupid whore bitch.
It was noonish and we were driving to get gas. Keep in mind what you should know about DB: he works third shift, and so being up at noon means that he only slept about three hours. He wasn't too focused today.
Anyways, we're getting gas. We pull up, pay, pump gas, blah, blah, blah. And we drive away.
I'm looking out the window like I usually do and something in the rear view mirror catches my eye. It almost looked like something small and black had flown off of the top of DB's car. Dun dun dunnn.
Tay: Hon? Do you have your wallet?
DB: Yeah, why?
Tay: Never mind. I thought I saw something fall of the top of your car.
DB: *feels around in his pocket* SHIT! MY WALLET!
So he FLIES the car around in the most suicidal U-turn I've ever experienced and drives back down the street. It can't be more than 20 seconds after the damn thing flew off the car.
DB: Oh. My. God. I'm pretty sure somebody's picking it up right now. In that white car.
And sure enough, I could see a stupidass ugly whore trash bitch pick something up off the ground and jump back into her pieceofshit car.
*DB and Tay pull up next to the car*
DB: *rolls down the window while waving frantically* Hey. Have you seen a wallet around here?
Stupidass ugly whore trash bitch: No.
DB: Oh. Kay...
*Stupidass ugly whore trash bitch quickly drives off*
We park. We search around. We find a few dollars, a bookstore gift card, and pictures of DB's cousin in the exact place that the Stupidass ugly whore trash bitch's car had been. Exactly where we had seen her get out and pick something up.
The bitch had lied straight to our faces.
DB was angry, but he's good at hiding it. I've never sworn so much in my life.
I'd like to think people are generally good. I really would. I try not to stereotype, I try not to judge, I try to get to know people, and I try to BELIEVE PEOPLE WHEN THEY TELL ME THEY HAVEN'T SEEN A WALLET AROUND. So would DB. Hence us driving away and letting her go without getting her licence plate or anything. Stupid, stupid, stupid.
Luckily, DB had been lazy and stuck his credit card into his pant pocket instead of back into the wallet. And he barely had any money because he only uses the credit card now.
I hope her bad karma gives her herpes.
By the way...
--I saw CN getting his mail today and he waved at me. I melted.
--This hot guy I work with (Job #2) complained about his new girlfriend to me. He used to complain about his old girlfriend too. He totally wants me.
EDIT
The only person in the whole world I don't hate is Maxie, because of this fabulousness:
Why, you ask?
Today DB got his wallet stolen by an ugly stupid whore bitch.
It was noonish and we were driving to get gas. Keep in mind what you should know about DB: he works third shift, and so being up at noon means that he only slept about three hours. He wasn't too focused today.
Anyways, we're getting gas. We pull up, pay, pump gas, blah, blah, blah. And we drive away.
I'm looking out the window like I usually do and something in the rear view mirror catches my eye. It almost looked like something small and black had flown off of the top of DB's car. Dun dun dunnn.
Tay: Hon? Do you have your wallet?
DB: Yeah, why?
Tay: Never mind. I thought I saw something fall of the top of your car.
DB: *feels around in his pocket* SHIT! MY WALLET!
So he FLIES the car around in the most suicidal U-turn I've ever experienced and drives back down the street. It can't be more than 20 seconds after the damn thing flew off the car.
DB: Oh. My. God. I'm pretty sure somebody's picking it up right now. In that white car.
And sure enough, I could see a stupidass ugly whore trash bitch pick something up off the ground and jump back into her pieceofshit car.
*DB and Tay pull up next to the car*
DB: *rolls down the window while waving frantically* Hey. Have you seen a wallet around here?
Stupidass ugly whore trash bitch: No.
DB: Oh. Kay...
*Stupidass ugly whore trash bitch quickly drives off*
We park. We search around. We find a few dollars, a bookstore gift card, and pictures of DB's cousin in the exact place that the Stupidass ugly whore trash bitch's car had been. Exactly where we had seen her get out and pick something up.
The bitch had lied straight to our faces.
DB was angry, but he's good at hiding it. I've never sworn so much in my life.
I'd like to think people are generally good. I really would. I try not to stereotype, I try not to judge, I try to get to know people, and I try to BELIEVE PEOPLE WHEN THEY TELL ME THEY HAVEN'T SEEN A WALLET AROUND. So would DB. Hence us driving away and letting her go without getting her licence plate or anything. Stupid, stupid, stupid.
Luckily, DB had been lazy and stuck his credit card into his pant pocket instead of back into the wallet. And he barely had any money because he only uses the credit card now.
I hope her bad karma gives her herpes.
By the way...
--I saw CN getting his mail today and he waved at me. I melted.
--This hot guy I work with (Job #2) complained about his new girlfriend to me. He used to complain about his old girlfriend too. He totally wants me.
EDIT
The only person in the whole world I don't hate is Maxie, because of this fabulousness:
Saturday, June 6, 2009
High Hopes and Squirrels
I'm playing Pink Floyd off my laptop right now. I'm sitting next to my window in my room.
And a fucking squirrel just came up to me. Well, to the window which is right next to me.
Like, right-right next to it.
My room is in the basement, so the bottom of the window is level with the ground.
Pink Floyd attracts rodent-y wildlife!
I am not making this up.
A real post will be coming soon. But not today. I'm hitting up some grad parties and a festival with DB. I may see my Christian Neighbor (CN), so I'm looking reeeal sexy.
And a fucking squirrel just came up to me. Well, to the window which is right next to me.
Like, right-right next to it.
My room is in the basement, so the bottom of the window is level with the ground.
Pink Floyd attracts rodent-y wildlife!
I am not making this up.
A real post will be coming soon. But not today. I'm hitting up some grad parties and a festival with DB. I may see my Christian Neighbor (CN), so I'm looking reeeal sexy.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Goodbye my lover
So. I'm pretty sure that I will never talk to my ex-boyfriend (who I'll call CN, on account of him being my Christian Neighbor) again. He seems to be completely infatuated with his new uglyass girlfriend. Yes, I'm bitter. He's ignored my obvious attempts to reunite. Last night was sort of our last chance at re-falling in love and we didn't. He barely even talked to me.
Didn't help that I avoid eye contact and that I get really flustered around him. Damn.
Anyways, we dating a couple of years ago. It was never serious and I broke up with him after a couple of months. I've re-fallen for him plenty of times in between then and now but we never got back together. Last year he wanted me pretty badly, but unfortunately for both of us, he wanted me at a time when I reallllly wanted somebody else. Dammit! And now our chance at love is gone. Unless he randomly decides to stop by the house (which I've told him he should do SO many fucking times), we will never speak again. *sigh*
I had such high hopes for last night's party. I really wanted us to have a nice heart-to-heart and then fuck, you know?
Didn't help that I avoid eye contact and that I get really flustered around him. Damn.
Anyways, we dating a couple of years ago. It was never serious and I broke up with him after a couple of months. I've re-fallen for him plenty of times in between then and now but we never got back together. Last year he wanted me pretty badly, but unfortunately for both of us, he wanted me at a time when I reallllly wanted somebody else. Dammit! And now our chance at love is gone. Unless he randomly decides to stop by the house (which I've told him he should do SO many fucking times), we will never speak again. *sigh*
I had such high hopes for last night's party. I really wanted us to have a nice heart-to-heart and then fuck, you know?
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